My wife keeps sending me mixed messages about my preps, currently I have enough canned goods and other items to keep us alive for a few weeks. My wife will suggest that we get more water and keep money in the house etc, then she will say that she is getting worried about us having these stored goods???????? I really dont know what to make of it. Any ideas or suggestions? I have been going to this faithfully everyday and your knowledge is unsurpassed!
My wife keeps sending me mixed messages about my preps, currently I have enough canned goods and other items to keep us alive for a few weeks. My wife will suggest that we get more water and keep money in the house etc, then she will say that she is getting worried about us having these stored goods???????? I really dont know what to make of it. Any ideas or suggestions? I have been going to this faithfully everyday and your knowledge is unsurpassed!
is she concerned about safety and theft?
Certainly, you wife’s feelings are important to understand, and to address to make sure she can be brought into the correct mindset with regard to preps.
It would be valuable to you to understand hwat about having all of those stored goods worries her. I think that would be a good starting point to resolve whatver issues she is having with the stocks.
What is she worried about? Is her concern about people breaking down the door and stealing the preps? Is she concerned about the food spoiling? She’s probably glad you are doing this but the thought of what could happen is making her nervous. Ask her what her fears are about this situation.
I think it is probably a combination of the food spoilage and the money that was spent on the preps, but I only buy the extra’s a little bit a time, and most often when they are on sale. As for the security, I am not too concerned about that right now. I think she doesnt want me to go overboard on the preps.
JeffDinNH – at 11:19
Well the truth is that whatever you buy now, you don’t have to buy later. <grin> Later will also mean that what ever you don’t buy now, you will be paying more for later.
So by purchasing extra food now you’ll always be ahead of the price/cost curve … especially if you are buying the items on sale.
As far as spoilage … most goods come with “use by” dates well out there by at least a couple of months. Just make sure you are buying things you would normally use anyway and then rotate them through your regular pantry items. This will also help you find out if you are buying enough or too much of any type of item.
Thanks Kathy! I am buying stuff that we use, and we are using quite frequently. I do feel better about having extra food and supplies in the house. It gives me a sense of security.
Jeff — I agree with what Kathy in FL wrote. I think it makes little sense to stockpile foods that you ordinarily would never use. On the other hand, it makes a lot of sense to buy a months (or more) supply of foods you frequently use. You can buy in bulk, on sale, and so on. Very few foods are so perishable that they need to be purchased every week.
However, buying food this way does require that you cook (more) from scratch. Here’s one example — our family usually eats bean burritos once a week. We would buy the flour tortillas once a week, from the refrigerated sectino of the grocery store; they had anout a 2 week expiration date (if kept refrigerated).
Now I buy flour and oil, and just make them myself at home. The ingredients have a much longer shelf life. And, it is cheaper, too.
That’s just one small example; but the basic idea is, half of prepping is stocking up; the other half is, learning new skills to use what you are stocking! If you or she is getting a little anxious about spending too much money on preps, it might be a good idea to slow down on the buying and focus more in the using — and see if it doesn’t start saving you money in the long run. Good luck!
JeffDinNH: I can relate. I live in a duplex shared with an adult son in the other apartment who has HAD IT with preps. I think a lot of it is due to not recognizing just how much is needed in the way of supplies for a total SIP. We’re so used to weekly shopping with quickstops in between that when you actually sit down and calculate how much stuff you’d really need, well, it’s a shocker. And it looks mountainous (and somewhat silly) to those who haven’t done those calcs yet. Much of what I’ve purchased has a very long shelf life. Early on I realised this was a long-haul proposition. So I intend to keep in storage the packaged goods with an expiration date of 10+ years. The other items will be rotated as advised previously. I tend to do more baking in winter, so for each bag of flour, I’ll replace. Also make more soups and stews, so beans and lentils also will be used and resupplied. Same for rice. I assume the NH stands for New Hampshire? I also live in the snowbelt - upper midwest - so the idea of not having to do an emergency shop during a blizzard (or even a slow snowplow day) is quite appealing. Not having a car makes it even more appealing. I’ve got an acquaintance who winters in Florida, and feels she’s heads-up on hurricane preparedness (maybe she is - no hurricane experience in these parts). I’ve discussed AF with her. She told me that she’s got 30 cans of Progresso soup to tide herself and her loved one over in the event of an emergency. Sounds like a lot of soup, until you divide it in half and start counting days. Even at one (small) meal per day for both of them, it’s about 2 weeks. But 30 cans of soup looks like a lot to a non-prepper. What I’m getting at is maybe you need to get your wife involve with really figuring this stuff out. Do the math for basic meals - without the opportunity to just run out and buy ingredients. It’s a real eye-opener. Makes those mountains look like molehills.
You know, that’s a good thought (Wolf) I forgot, I had sat down with my husband at one point. He was supportive in general of prepping for 6 weeks of food in the pantry, but was balking at the cost of it all.
I showed him that I generally spend about $150 per week on food and household supplies, so 6 weeks times that would be $900 EXTRA I would have to spend just on food and household supplies. Of course the hope is I could get things cheaper by buying in bulk, etc. but the truth is, there are also some initial start-up costs involved is you wish to lay in food for a long time period — you need to have a place to store it and proper storage containers, etc.
Still it is a useful thought exercise — to realize that initially as you are buying ahead, it WILL cost more, and to be prepared for that.
Wolf-I do live in the Granite State, the southern part. Even in Southern NH it gets really cold and nasty in the winter. I do try to get my wife involved, she has made some suggestions, ex/getting more bottled water (she drinks a lot it), having cash ( a few hundred ) at the house just in case. I think it might be because she is an accountant and handles the money, and is always worried about the finances and money we spend, she wants to make sure that we arent being wasteful which we are not. It just gets hard sometimes to explain the preps to her. I work in the biotech field here in New England, and believe it or not, some people where I work (big bossess) are prepping, which really makes me think something is coming soon. I havent told my wife of this though. I have been blindsided and unprepared before and dont want to be in that situation again if I can help it. Where I live, its very heavily populated, about 30 miles north of Boston, MA so any type of disaster would bring people, and a whole bunch of problems my way, I just want to be ready.
Average Concerned Mom @ 12:06: Indeed. So many unforseen expenses. Some of us haven’t camped since the kids grew up and so don’t have ‘cooking gear’ or lanterns etc. And fuel for if the power goes out for any length of time. In the past, as a homemaker scheduling weekly menus, I’d plan on one day per week of heavy-duty baking. Out of necessity, that’s what I plan now. I’d run out of charcoal otherwise (will bake in my weber using a stone) Might run out anyway, but there’s plenty of dead trees nearby and I’ll save my fruittree prunings this year. Also got a nifty thermos cooker. On the pricey-side, but man, is it great! Just bring the food to boiling and pop it in there and it simmers for hours - no fuel necessary. Just cooked up some soup and it was still steaming hot after 16 hrs. (Plan to use it to keep water hot for coffee/tea or macaroni also). 3 briquets (at most) and some kindling in a hobo stove beats the heck outta trying to keep a pot of soup simmering for 2–3 hours over propane or even charcoal. Figure I’ll cook breakfast at the same time I start dinner - over the same coals.
JeffDin NH: “I work in the biotech field here in New England, and believe it or not, some people where I work (big bossess) are prepping, which really makes me think something is coming soon.” Now THAT’S the most interesting thing I’ve heard all day.
wolf 12.o2 How i could not agree more with you on first starting out i got what i thought was a mountain of food all manner tou could ever imagine.spent an utter fortune and when i got on this site and learned how to sit and calculat i had hargly anything no rice no pasta no oats no flour and no idea how to survive for a month,Now i can confidently sit here and wait it out in the knowledge i will come out to see another year.my daughter grown up is thoughly fed up with it but she would be the first to say how hungry she was.Where is the dinner i am starving after 3 or so hours.i am made up with my preps it feels like i felt when i got an insurance policy against theft.no one wants their house robbed i do not but i was so relieved and i did not fear leaving the house it is the same thing for me.Insurance in case
Comment on prepping…..most of what I bought I rotate and use anyway. Stuff I bought that I don’t normally use, I will donate to a food pantry about 4–6 months before it expires. Then I’ll rebuy it. Obviously, paper goods, TP, Kleenex, I just put away. Actually, the system works well now that I worked on it for a few months. I don’t worry about anyone breaking down my door now. I’ll worry about that when the time comes. JeffDinNH….Tell your wife if she wants to talk about it we will be glad to listen. This forum really helps get us calmer and on track.
NOT accounting for your food security by putting some items into a storage program, you are getting a better rate of return on your food preparations, based on inflation, than most bank savings accounts.
http://www.ers.usda.gov/Briefing/CPIFoodAndExpenditures/outlook.htm
The CPI for beef and veal, rose 2.6 percent in 2005
The CPI for pork increased 2.0 percent in 2005
The CPI for other meats increased 2.4 percent in 2005, and 2006 prices are expected to increase 1.0 percent.
The CPI for poultry increased 2.0 percent in 2005 and a decrease of 0.0 to 1.0 percent is expected in 2005 as world demand for poultry has softened due to avian influenza-related issues in Asia and Europe.
The CPI for fish and seafood was up 3.0 percent in 2005, with an expected 2.5-to 3.5-percent increase in 2006.
The CPI for fresh fruits increased 3.7 percent in 2005 and is expected to increase 2.5 to 3.5 percent in 2006
The CPI for fresh vegetables increased 4.0 percent in 2005, and prices are expected to rise an additional 3.5 to 4.5 percent in 2006 due to continued strong demand for fresh vegetables.
The CPI for processed fruits and vegetables increased 3.3 percent in 2005 as production and canning costs increased substantially for producers. In 2006, processed fruit and vegetable prices are expected to increase 2.5 to 3.5 percent
However, in 2006, the CPI for sugar and sweets is expected to increase a 1.5 to 2.5 percent as increased sugar costs at earlier stages of production are passed along to the retail level.
…you get the drift
Given the $900 in extra prepping costs at only 3% savings over the CPI inflation rate, yields a $27 net savings.
Cost of having a food storage program when there is NOTHING on the shelves because JIT delivery has broken down ?
PRICELESS
Anon in uk – at 13:05: I tease my son that he’s like Thumper in Bambi - “I’m hungry, Mother, I really am”. Oh, yeah. A mountain is necessary.
BirdGuano – at 13:09: My son is an accounting major in college. These numbers may become invaluable (as well as to JeffDinNH)!
I get major grief from my husband. He doesn’t understand why we need to buy toilet paper, toothpaste, etc., when we have some already. He was raised hand-to-mouth, and never had food at the end of the week. Since I’ve paid for all the preps, I told him he is not allowed to touch them or to comment on them. If we need them, he’ll be happy we have them.
I’ve hidden preps over the whole house, and he’s managed to find all of it. Makes me furious when I see that he’s pulled something out of the preps.
My kid hits me up for stuff all the time. Like I’m now the mini-mart with no cash needed. Infuriating! >sigh<
JeffDinNH: mmmmmmmmmmmm …men who want to keep harmony in the home and on issues AND help prep? Your wife has a jewel on her hands that is much more valuable than any bauble you can bring home from the store! ;-)
One thing that might help is what I call the reality check pages. I have a section in my emergency notebook for things that keep me up to date and encouraged to prep. First, I wrote pages and pages of things we would need if we needed to SIP a month, two months, 6 months, a year, 18 months. Then I made inventory pages to keep track of everything. So, then I could discuss goals with my husband. (You gotta love a man who brings home 14 bottles of pepto bismol because he loves you and is showing he is helping to stock up) Every now and then, I copy something that reminds me of what the reality of a pandemic could be like. Sometimes, it’s a news article. Sometimes, it’s someone’s insight and opinion here on fluwikie.
One of the things that I discovered by having a “reality and planning section” is that I needed to be sharing all this information with my husband. I help keep him up to date and make sure important issues are on his grid for reading. And, we discuss some of the issues. Like, when Monotreme was bringing up information in the “Worst Case Scenarios”, my husband read some of the issues. (He thinks Monotreme has an optimistic (lol!) viewpoint about some of the issues). Anyway, my point is if you are cruising the internet and especially fluwikie and absorbing information and planning and smoothing out your dangling participles on bird flu and your wife is not, then you are unequally yoked and when bird flu hits, your wife might really freak out. (Maybe)
When we have a hurricane here, everyone knows that we have an emergency preparedness box full of lanterns, batteries, radios, battery-operated tv, aluminum foil (to hang a square of foil on the tv antenna to improve reception lol) and other essentials. It is regularly replenished and kept up to date. A few years ago when we had a terror of a storm go through here, we had a friend staying with us. He clung like a dying man to his battery operated lantern while we all played cards and drank coffee and tea. What we took for granted and were assured we would probably get through it, he had no experience in dealing with a storm that was uprooting trees and crashing them around the house. We didn’t think to tell him all the details. Now, he proudly admits how prepared he is and has educated himself about possible catastrophes. I wonder if your wife knew about the enormity ofproblems that might be faced in a pandemic, if she might not be working more in unison with you.
Good luck to you!
Wolf – at 13:13
BirdGuano – at 13:09: My son is an accounting major in college. These numbers may become invaluable (as well as to JeffDinNH)!
I’ve had the same conversations with a lot of engineer types that I work with, so I finally did the research to make the case using numbers.
Also ask them if they buy car insurance.
If so why ? What are the odds of them needing it ?
Same with Homeowners/renters insurance.
Then why not food insurance ?
Unlike car insurance you can; eat it, it hedges against inflation, and it ALSO acts as an insurance policy against supply interruption or natural disaster.
Make THEM make the case for NOT having a food storage program :-)
It’s not logical NOT to have one.
JeffDinNH - On brown rice alone we have saved a ton of money. Honestly, I can’t believe I’ve wasted so much buying it in regular (3?) pound bags before this. And now that our preps are solid, I only need to buy someting on sale, and I can be choosy and wait for a good sale! If your wife’s an acct., she’ll get the money saving aspect pretty quickly with foods purchased in bulk. Are you afraid of scaring her if you tell her some of the biotech. bosses are prepping? That’s powerful information, and reading it surely had an effect on me! I’m glad to know there’s another prepper in my neighborhood! Welcome!
JeffDinNH – at 12:29 It just gets hard sometimes to explain the preps to her. I work in the biotech field here in New England, and believe it or not, some people where I work (big bossess) are prepping, which really makes me think something is coming soon. I havent told my wife of this though.
Tell her! Share with her! And, as a fellow Granite Stater, take her into Wal-Mart and Shaw’s with you. At Shaw’s you will find “weird” items that just started being put out: huge bins of crank flashlights and canned meats that have never been given such floorspace. I was in three separate Wal-Marts this a.m. and in each one I heard announcements to this effect (only slightly paraphrased):
“Flu season is right around the corner. When I get the flu, I usually rush right to my doctor. But this year, I’m taking it easy on myself. My medicine cabinet is stocked with all the flu remedies. Be prepared. Stock up, and take it easy on yourself.”
I thought that was really interesting.
As Kathy in FL already aptly pointed out, buying in bulk and stocking up on sale items saves $$ in the long run. That should appeal to your DW.
Wolf – at 13:25 My kid hits me up for stuff all the time. Like I’m now the mini-mart with no cash needed.
Funny, Wolf! My college-age step-daughter almost drooled when she went through our prep area. “This is a college student’s dream come true,” she exclaimed. I gave her a bunch of the items that were nearing expiration knowing they would get gobbled up quickly. Kind of like a donation to our own personal food bank. ;)
Thanks Guys! I appreciate your good advice and will take it to heart! Its good to know that I am not the only one.
Jeff-
I grew up in the connecticut river valley and i have to say, that is where my survival instinct came from! I think because of the weather, the residual effects of the depression, and general yankee thriftiness, it was ingrained at a young age. (i’m 40, so not that long ago-though my kids would argue that!. I bet if your wife talks to some old timers (and I’m assuming your not native, or else so. nh is way more urban now) she would see the logic. I am now in a large metropolitan area of the midwest, in a nice cozy suburb, and hardly anyone has more than a few days groceries -it’s too easy to run to the store. But I hate going out shopping in weather, and so I have always had a pantry. I have been very glad to have purchased a lot of what I have now, as I see the prices on these same items up 10–30% in some cases! I also only buy on sale, and even better with coupons, so it really helps the budget not to have to pay full price because I need something. We are alos self employed, so it really helps the ups and downs of that kind of income!
Ricewiki-
Nice to see you back! Are you in my neck of the woods now? Were you able to move your preps? Thanks again for those reports, sent long ago. I have new email- it’s in my short profile!
Jeff…..did you ever just “asK” her what she means and what her concerns are? Sounds like you might be trying to fix a problem without knowing for sure what it is or if there even is one. Just ask. (or maybe you did and she didn’t say)
Preps are a good hedge against inflation. The bags of flour I purchased three months ago for 1.59 for a five pound bag now costs 2.65 for the same things. Keep track of prices and soon you see how much they go up every week (day). She will thank you.
Ange D, my kids thought I was a grocery store. They would come in and take a 3 pound can of coffee out of my stash and leave. Just wanted me for my storage items. Ha ha. Now middle son (who is a great chef professionally) has three boxes of cereal, three of pop tarts and coffee on his shelves. He knows better also.
JeffDinNH – at 10:35
I have a different perspective on your wife’s reactions. She copes I think like myself and perhaps a lot of women. If you were to change the word “worried” to “practical” it takes on different image. At times she’s comfortable with prepping; therefore she’s practical. But then she according to you worries about the “preps”. But in reality she’s trying to be practical about “security” which I think is the next practical level of concern. She’s likely a realist and she knows that what you have could be taken or lost despite all your efforts. What I think is being said is I don’t feel secure;what do we need to do next??
I think this way of thinking is good because in all likelihood she is a visionary and can anticipate problems down the road (like most women). By openly discussing this vision with your input she can strategize to the next level of comfort. I see her as foreward thinking ahead of most. You are lucky to have her.
Water is one of the bulkiest and least easy to store preps, although several 5 gallon containers or even a new trash barrel full of water is a good idea. But buying bleach or even pool shock (calcium hypochlorite with no additives) will allow “bad” water to be purified. (Ten drops bleach per gallon; more if still cloudy; pool shock makes bleach - 1 heaping teaspoon for two gallons of bleach) Also, in terms of grain storage a vacuum sealer will extend flour or rice storage life to 2–3 years and pasta will last 2–3 in the box if kept in a cool, dry place. Since 20–25 lb. bags of grains are cheap ($10 or so at Costco) if the v. sealer investment can be made, the spoilage problem is much less. The same would apply to dehyrators for fruit. Storage space can be an issue. Get an old old van and put it up on blocks;.) It is cheaper than rented storage!
JeffDinNH- I went through the same thing with my DH, at first. One thing that helped us get on the same page (translation: my page) about prepping was making a data base. I used Excel and listed item, expiration date, quantity, and storage location. That way, I can sort by location, item or expiration date. It ensures nothing gets wasted because I forgot where it was or when it expired.
tjclaw1- Am feelin’ your pain about prep raiding. Daughter had a sleep over this weekend. Found wrappers from the treat preps hidden under couch in the morning. I can’t believe they weren’t sick. Little heathens.
To calm the wife buy cases of chocolate, to calm the husband buy cases of booze, and to calm the children…… heck the booze and chocolate should work. 8^)
my wife is mostly onboard - have 3 months or so of food supplies - she does the foods - have many months of other hard supplies - i supply - maybe years worth actually.
While i am certain it is coming soon, she does not want to think about it.
There are so many things that i need to discuss about how we would live in a SIP condition… but she doesnt want to… so i plan by myself… prepping when i can… hiding supplies around the house… I feel im in pretty good shape - but when it comes time to shut the door, i feel only i am in position to call the shots and make the rules. I have been the one to lie awake at night thinking the unimaginable. I have been the one to buy the heaters, fuel, masks, gloves, bleach, batteries on and on. But i just know that when the time comes, SHE will want to take charge. There lies the rub.
I think she is slowly getting it or it is becoming less a problem… i see more food showing up, but then i see our toilet paper decrease to an unacceptable level. In the store, she will put one box of tissues in the cart… i throw another 1 or 2 in… she looks at me and says nothing but speaks volumes.
I will not stop my prpepping. If it were my decision alone, i would prep for 2 years SIP and get off the electrical grid and all other deliverable fuels. I would also If on my own, move to a mountain top and get the heck out of here. Too many people for my taste in a pandemic. but here i am. in my home. wife sort of on board.. better than not on board at all i guess.
husbandintow – at 00:44 I know the feeling well. My DW thought I was a total nut case for a while. Started bring home some of the stuff I was working on at work and just left them for her to see. She understands it more in her head but not in her heart. I know that I can count on her to ration the food and keep the others in line but she will not like it at all. Maybe if you printed out the maps of Indo and the case chart and just leave it where you know she will see it. One of those “This is real and is happening we need to be ready” type of things.
Test
This is the link to a pamphlet produced by the state of Indiana which is an excellent guide for anyone who needs to understand more about what we are preparing for (originally posted by DennisC and btw in MT, thanks!). I emailed it to my friend who has been ignoring my pleas to start prepping for more than a year and surprisingly, it worked! She called today to tell me she has restocked her pantry with more than $400.00 worth of prep essentials. I don’t know what she read in the guide that clicked for her, but I am surely relieved. I hope it might be of use to some of you.
Oremus – at 00:24
“To calm the wife buy cases of chocolate, to calm the husband buy cases of booze, and to calm the children…… heck the booze and chocolate should work. 8^) “
OMG LMFAO LOL
I loved that comment too :-)
Yes, gender-role stereotyping is so hilarious. And original, too!
JeffDinNH at 12:29 - I think it might be because she is an accountant and handles the money, and is always worried about the finances and money we spend, she wants to make sure that we arent being wasteful which we are not. It just gets hard sometimes to explain the preps to her.
Put it to her in her language.
FIFO.
Next problem? LOL
Oremus – at 00:24
LMAO! :-)
Max – at 11:37 “yes, gender-role stereotyping is so hilarious. And original, too! “
yep, ‘specially when you include the kids — sort of a “two for one”
One way to help convince a spouse - do a “prep weekend.” No power, no water. Only prep foods. No stove, etc. Keep track of everything you use - multiple that times however many weeks you think you’ll need.
Going a few days without power convinced my dh not only do we need a generator (well water), but also how much we rely on eating out when we either don’t have power, or just don’t feel like cooking, etc. if you eat EVERY MEAl at home for six weeks, it’s a lot of food. Things finally started to click, luckily giving me enough time to spend more money!
Max – at 11:37 “yes, gender-role stereotyping is so hilarious. And original, too! “
Oh it was funny and you know it LOL
Max – at 11:37 “yes, gender-role stereotyping is so hilarious. And original, too! “
Oh it was funny and you know it LOL
On a day of no paid work, my wife went through our disorganised food supplies so we can estimate where we might be short. I can foresee some major prep help coming now. I just asked her if she’d mind doing it, as we raid the supplies when we need to.
JeffDinNH - I only became really aware of the Bird Flu last April or May when watching a show on GMA. I started preparing slowly without telling even my family. Gradually I let family members know what I was doing putting it in the context of current disasters such as Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Rita, not just concentrating on Bird Flu. My oldest son thought it was great and called my prep closet “The Apocalypse Room.” My husband, much like your wife, was tolerant but not totally committed. The way I finally convinced him that we either do this all the way (and you have to consider the worst case scenario) or not at all was by sending him news articles that I find on the Flu Wiki news threads. I usually find the articles that describe how a community is preparing for a possible pandemic or the rising number of deaths in a country. After a few of these, he began telling me, “I’m going to give you $50 a month to help with your preps.” Then he began saying, “I’m going to give you $100 a month to help with your preps.” Now he’s building more storage shelves for the preps. Good luck. I know you’ll come up with something.
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